How long is a piece of string and other unanswerable questions.

January 31, 2024

How long is a piece of string? This is an expression used in response to a question which has no answer.

The unanswerable question I get asked the most is how many weeks or sessions it will take to achieve a certain level English. It’s a question I’ve been asked more times that I care to recall during my 25 years of teaching English because people naturally and quite rightly want to know how long they will need to make an investment in classes.

The reason it’s a question that’s impossible to answer is because we’re all different, we all work at different paces, have more or less time than each other, more of less demands on that time and more or less dedication and reason to achieve our goals.

The other truth is that some people will never reach the goal they’ve set themselves for a multitude of reasons ranging from being lazy and not really wanting it, to just not being capable. There are those who have good intentions and abilities, but life somehow just gets in the way. Of course that doesn’t mean that there will be no improvement, or that studying is pointless. Language learning isn’t just about improving, it’s about maintaining a level. It’s the same with other activities such as jogging, baking or drawing, we perform better and hurt less afterwards (particularly with physical activity) when we do it regularly.

That’s why I put so much value on coaching combination courses for people who need to speak English as a non native at work. Because first, you need to learn the structure, and of course learn lots of vocab as well as practice using the language. Once you’ve acquired those skills what you need next is the confidence to actually use the language in different settings.

And this is where people fall down in their plan and their expectations of themselves. Because speaking up in a foreign language at work, in front of colleagues you admire and are trying to impress can be intimidating. The stress of speaking up in meetings can cause a wide variety of symptoms, one of the most acknowledged being lack of vocab. But that isn’t the real problem. The real problem is perfectionism and fear of making mistakes. More specifically, the fear of being laughed at or thought of as stupid for making the mistakes and not having sophisticated enough vocab.

The reason it’s generally the most acknowledged symptom is that it’s a ‘acceptable’ symptom. It’s not too much of a problem and it has a clear solution, just learn more vocab. Whereas the real problem, that you mouth goes dry, you start feeling clammy and your heart starts racing are not ‘acceptable’ particularly when others around you are able to speak up without any obvious problem.

The stigma of not being good at something that other ‘normal’ people are able to do without over thinking. That’s the real reason you blame it on lack of practice and lack of vocab, because you’re protecting yourself from the humiliation and pain of facing your fears. Of course, there are people who really do need to learn more vocab, but here I’m talking about people who already have B2 level English or above. Because at this level, you generally have enough words to speak around a subject and find a way to communicate what you want to say, not perfectly, but good enough to make yourself understood.

The curious thing that I’ve noticed during my 25 years teaching, is that this problem mainly effects introverts. People who don’t particularly enjoy speaking up in meetings in their own language. Extroverts, it seems have less of a problem approaching others and communicating with them in whatever language, even without any language extroverts somehow make social interaction possible just with gestures. Of course they won’t be able to give a presentation in a language they don’t know, but at a certain level when they are open to interaction they’ll manage to get by without putting themselves under undue stress, in fact they’ll probably actually enjoy the challenge of it!

And this is where coaching comes in. If you’re struggling to find the courage to speak up at work, in whatever language you choose, what you really need to do is understand and overcome the fear that’s causing the symptoms. And this is why coaching is so valuable. By understanding the fear and finding ways to overcome it you’re learning new skills for life. Skills that will help you understand yourself, skills that translate and are transferable to so many other areas of your life.

Coaching in one area of your life can’t not affect other areas of your life for the better. And unlike language skills they are much harder to forget. So, do yourself a favour and rather than buying yet another grammar book or set of vocab cards, consider a course of coaching that will last.

Of course, all questions do actually eventually have an answer... can you guess the correct answer to the string question? My father was the only person I knew who could answer it, probably because he delighted in such riddles.