January 1, 2024
When it comes to new year resolutions people tend to fall into one of two different categories. That resolution makers and the resolution haters. The haters tend to roughly fall into two different camps. Those who have tried and failed and now don’t even try and those who see no point in resolutions at all.
The tried and failed camp typically had big goals or too many goals. They generally tried to do too much too soon, they also didn’t have a back up plan for how they were going to keep going. Their optimism to achieve what they wanted was admirable, but the truth is that change is hard and we all need support in some form to make lasting change.
Those who see no point in resolutions are generally those brilliant individuals who just get stuff done. They’re tend to be very independent and see not getting stuff done or (god forbid) asking for help, as a sign of weakness. The don’t make resolutions because if something needs doing they just do it and anything that isn’t done they’re able to rationalise as either not being important, or not their job to do.
The resolution makers again fall into roughly two different camps. Those who succeed and those who fail.
Let’s start with those who fail and why. First we have the ones whose goals were too big without a back up plan who keep trying and failing every year. They’ll soon move groups and become a haters rather than makers.
Next we have the those who make the wrong goals. These people are well intentioned people who tend to tend to take on the world’s problems making resolutions to change themselves to please other people. They have hearts of gold, but the reason they fail is because they’re trying so very hard the solve a problem that isn’t theirs to solve. These people generally want validation from another person/people, believe that they are to blame and that being more like someone else will solve their problems and get them what they want.
Then we have the guilt trippers. They make goals that, truth be told they don’t really want. They generally make their resolutions because someone else (doctor, partner, society at large) believes it’s a good idea. But they don’t really want it, not without effort anyway and we all know how hard change can be, so they fail.
Finally we have the delusionists. These people have their heads a little (or a lot) in the clouds. They saw some clever marketing or inspirational documentary and decided to be/ do like that, completely unaware of how much effort it requires. They often also don’t actually have a plan and although they probably are serious when they say what it is they’re going to do/become, they never actually start working towards it. These people aren’t really failures, they’re more like non starters.
So what about those who succeed? And, more importantly, how do they manage it?
First we have those who set goals that in all honesty weren’t really new resolutions, because they’re already doing it. These are people who say they want to improve their skills or ability in an area when they’re already skilled at it so improving is either just going to take a 1/2 day work shop or the improvement is at such a high level no one else will notice because they’re at the top of their game anyway.
Next up we have the people who make short time period goals. They know their limitations and set goals that they know are going to be a challenge so they give themselves a cut off point. Things like giving up sugar or dry January. The reason these people succeed is that they make realistic goals with an end point. Challenging yourself is really hard if there’s no end in sight and whereas some of these challenges such as giving up things that are bad for your health can result in binging the following month, they have given their body a rest and time to recover for a whole month.
Finally we have the long haul people. These people make personal goals to overcome obstacles that often have been life long challenges for them. You tend to get a lot of failures in this category, but those who do succeed, always have a combination of the following elements:
The right goal/resolution. They’ve spent time reflecting on what it is they want and they’re doing whatever it is for themselves.
A good plan in small achievable steps. The bigger then goal, the longer the time frame, with achievement milestones to celebrate along the way.
A fall back plan. A vision of what might go wrong and how to deal with it so it doesn’t cause the whole big goal resolution to crash and burn.
A real support network. By real I mean either an accountability buddy, possibly someone with the same goal for moral boosting. Or, someone who’s fully supportive of them reaching their goal and has been briefed on possible blocks and how to respond/support. Or, a coach who has expertise and experience in whatever your goal is be it fitness, health or overcoming a fear or phobia.
What sort are you? A hater or a maker? Do you recognise yourself in any of these descriptions? Let me know .
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